Charms
by Geekies
Summary: Kino always drags his friends into his crazy schemes, and this time is no different. He has found interest in yet another charm book, and he's convinced that this one is real. What will happen to his test subjects, Haga and Aoyama? Not SUPER cliche maybe?
1. Magic Books

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, and if I did then I would have had more of the boys.**

_**A/N: I was writing a nice SZS story, and then my mother decided to delete the file and empty the recycle bin. After lamenting over the loss of my story, I decided to write this horribly written, generic crap that I was very close to making crack. Hopefully it's not insanely cliche. So two chapters of this bullocks. Enjoy. By the way, aren't you guys glad that I sent an update for the character list on this site? :U No one else was doing it, so it was bothering me. I was too lazy to put everyone in the update. END RANT! STORY TIME! Also! Yes, I know they wouldn't use dollars! ;A; I'm sorry!  
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Walking down the street in the heat of summer may have not been the nicest feeling, but it was always nice to have the company of a friend while doing so. It was the middle of summer and everything seemed leaden and sluggish. Aoyama and Haga were making their way to the bookstore that Kino's family owned. Upon arriving, they spotted Kino reading a book with utmost fascination. They had a mind to turn around and go back the way they came. That gaze only led to more disaster. Kino quickly looked up at his friends and smiled widely, "Guys! Read this!"

"Kay yeah, let's just turn back," Haga suggested, steering himself away from Kino.

"Whoa hey! Hold on! Really, look it's really cool," Kino tugged at Haga's shirt, making him turn around.

"What is it Kino?" Aoyama asked, somewhat interested.

"It's a charm book! It says they really work," Kino began, "this one is a luck charm! All you have to do is do all this crap and you're good to go!"

The boys rolled their eyes. Whenever Kino got a hold of books like these, he always found interest in them, tested them, figured out they were fake, and then got mad at the world. Of course, to test them he would often use his friends as guinea pigs.

"So you two! Wanna test these out?" he asked.

"No," Haga was quick to answer, snatching the book from Kino's hand and placing it back with the other copies. Kino frowned and took it back out, "This is legit! It has everything anyone could ever want or not want!"

"Kino, it's fake. We're not doing any of it." Aoyama piped up.

The unfashionable boy sighed and flipped through the book again, "Look, let's make a deal, and make it interesting; ten dollars for the both of you if these are real and five dollars from each of you if they aren't real. Deal?"

The boys looked at each other for a while, "We have to talk about this really quick." Kino shrugged and skimmed the pages again as his friends huddled in a corner so that Kino couldn't hear them. "You're thinking what I'm thinking huh?" Aoyama asked.

"Act it all out? Get ten dollars? Sounds fine to me. Agree?" Haga asked. Aoyama nodded and the two walked back over to Kino, "Deal!"

Kino perked up, almost sinisterly, "Alright! Let's start with the first page!"

"What's the first page?" Haga asked, peeking at the book a bit.

"What do you think people would want charms for the most? Love!"

The boys frowned, "Second page," Aoyama murmured.

"Are you sure you want page two?" Kino asked.

Haga rolled his eyes, "Yeah, we're sure."

"Page two is 'Gay Love Charms'," Kino cooed.

Aoyama grabbed the book, "We meant page three! Oh what? 'Lesbian Love Charms'?"

"Well! Too late now! Let's try page two guys," Before they could protest, Kino scanned the book through the register and took off to his home nearby, urging his friends to hurry up and follow him.

"So it says, take a picture with the man you're trying to have fall in love with you. Have it developed and in parenthesis it says that you can print it out from your home printer...good, good. Then it says kiss the picture and say the person's name five times. After that, keep the picture under your pillow while you sleep. Aw man, we don't get immediate results? And then the spell will take effect when the person sees you," Kino explained.

There was silence for a long while. Haga finally spoke up, "Aoyama can make out with my picture and stuff, I'll just be the victim."

"Oh no way," Aoyama huffed, "you're doing this too!" They agreed and got to work.

They took a picture of themselves with their phones and sent it to Kino's computer to have it printed.

"Kino, you fixed this piece of crap right?" Haga asked, poking buttons on his friend's printer.

"Yeah pretty much. It just doesn't copy," he slid the paper slot out, "this has to be out or else it'll get jammed."

"Stupid piece of crap. Get a new one," Aoyama suggested.

"I wanna but dad says that I should run to the shop and print stuff if I really want something copied. You two are spending the night by the way."

Haga grabbed his phone again, "Great, I have to bother my sister for the millionth time. She's going to end up hating you."

"She loves me, she can't hate me," Kino grinned, catching the photos that printed.

"Heeeey, can you do me a favor? No? What? How'd ya know? Please? I know you're passing by eventually anyway," Haga continued to speak to his sister.

Aoyama pulled on his arm, "Ask her if she can bring the things I left the other day."

"Hey, can you...ah, Aoyama. She says to tell you that she can hear you," Haga pursed his licks in a mocking manner, "ah, you will? Oh man thanks sis! Tell mom that I'm staying at Kino's."

"Tell her I said hi," Kino mumbled, reading the charm book a bit more.

"Oh...she says hiiiii Kinoooo," Haga drawled out in a creepy, dreamy, girly voice.

Aoyama giggled, "Just like that?" Haga laughed with him and confirmed it, hanging up.

"I hope she doesn't want to come inside," with a whisk Kino gave Haga and Aoyama their pictures, "she'd kill the mood." The boys laughed, wondering what the heck kind of mood Kino was talking about.

"Kiss the picture and say the person's name five times," Aoyama reread. He shrugged and gave the Haga side of their picture a kiss, "Haga, Haga, Haga, Haga, Haga."

Haga was hesitant to do the same, "Can I not?"

"Oh come on Haga, Aoyama did it, you can do it too," Kino chuckled.

"You're just getting a kick out of this," he gave the Aoyama side of his picture a big kiss, and with his girliest voice chanted, "Aoyama, Aoyama, Aoyama, Aoyama, Aoyama!" The other boys nearly died of laughter and mimicked him with random voices, such as their "pedo" voice, or their "foreigner" voice.

"Alright, alright. Let's see... the pillow part," Kino sighed.

"That'll be a while from now," Haga blinked.

In a sudden nervous fit, Aoyama sputtered, "Oh gosh! What if it actually works!"

Haga stared at Aoyama for a while, then smirked, placing his hand on his friend's head, "Then I guess we're gay lovers, Aoyama. You're so not topping."

Before Aoyama could cry, the doorbell rang, "Your sis," Kino guessed.

"Yeah let's get everything," Aoyama ran down to the door, opening it and thanking Haga's sister.

Haga took his own stuff and thanked her again. "I-Is Kino here?" she asked. He used a mocking tone while speaking to her, "No way! Kino doesn't live in his house! Only Aoyama and I!"

Before she could punch him in the gut, she spotted Kino coming towards the door, "Hey! Thanks again for bringing their stuff! You're welcome to stay for dinner!"

"O-Oh no no it's okay! I'm having dinner at my friend's house! Um, b-bye! I mean, it was no problem at all! I mean...! B-Bye," and just like that, she dashed away.

"You offer but you know she's not going to accept," Haga hauled his things into Kino's room.

"Well yeah, that's why I offer," he stated, closing the door, "she brought both of you guys' pillows too! Sweet!"

They set up their sleeping gear so they wouldn't have to later, and they placed their pictures under their pillows. Haga and Aoyama each had separate feelings about the charms. Haga was beginning to think of the deal as fun, especially since he was expecting his ten dollars in the end. However, Aoyama had become quite nervous. He swore he felt something when he kissed that picture, and he hoped that nothing really happened. If something did happen then he was hoping that the spell could be broken.

"Lemme see that book," he took the book and looked for reversals of the spell, "Haga, it says that this is a temporary spell that will only last for a day. For longer lasting spells, see page forty." With this, Aoyama smiled and put the book back where it was, "So we'll be okay."

"Wow, I can't believe you're worried about it," Haga snickered, "let's play video games until then or something, geez."

"Seconded!" Kino exclaimed, practically yanking his PS2 out of his closet, "Aoyama plays last!"

"Hey what?"

So for a long portion of the time, Aoyama sat there thinking of all the possible outcomes of the charm. He thought so much, even while he did play, that before he knew it, it was 3:39 AM, and he was awfully tired. He fell asleep after checking if the picture was under his pillow. He was so very close to shoving it elsewhere, but he kept it there, thinking that nothing would happen. It would all be an act, for the both of them, it would be an act. The two other boys fell asleep shortly after, not entirely thinking the same thoughts. In the morning, everything would be settled.

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_**A/N: I'm sorry I added Haga's sister and stuff. I try not to do that often. She's not like the center of attention of this fic or anything so I guess that's good right? If she was then that would have been a problem.**_


	2. Magic Results?

In the morning, there was a glorious silence that took over Kino's home. It was one of the reasons why Haga and Aoyama would hardly hesitate to stay over. His parents would go off to run the store, which left Kino to a lonely house, but with his friends there, their light breathing like angels whispering, he felt as if they were protecting him, even if they were not being alert. He never liked to wake up before them, because the wait for them to wake up was almost unbearable, so he learned to stay asleep until he heard their snickers and loud whispers.

The first to wake up was Aoyama. He had a wonderful sleep despite his mind working double time the whole night. He put on his glasses and stared at the television, still on with two of Haga and Kino's favorite characters still in their fighting stances. Looks like Kino was winning. The sound was off, probably because Kino's parents had complained about it while he was sleeping. They always did, so he wouldn't be surprised. He turned off the game and the TV and slowly looked over Kino sleeping next to him. His hair was messy and not how many would expect it to look when it wasn't in his usual style. Aoyama couldn't help but smile at the sleeping boy as he clung to his pillow. After a while, his eyes trailed over to Haga, who was sleeping on the other side of Kino. His heart nearly stopped at the sight of him.

"Oh crap," he thought, "doesn't the spell take effect when I see him?" He looked away from him, then stared again. He didn't notice anything different, but he wasn't really sure how the spell worked. Maybe Haga was supposed to be awake when he saw him? Maybe they were both supposed to be awake? He didn't really want to find out anymore, and he just wanted to forget the whole thing. He hoped that nothing happened. Just as he was about to avoid Haga for the rest of the day, said person began to toss around. Aoyama froze, hoping Haga would just stay asleep until the spell disappeared or something.

To Aoyama's dismay, Haga folded his arms on his pillow and placed his head on them. He laid there for a while, blinking in the sunlight from the window. Rubbing his eyes, he sat up and grunted a bit. At this Aoyama dug his face into his pillow and pretended that he was asleep. However, his movements were too fast to ignore.

"Whoa, morning gorgeous," Haga mumbled with the most forced voice that he could manage.

"Oh gosh, what did he call me? Oh gosh it worked didn't it?" Aoyama thought, slowly turning his head towards his friend.

"Why are you going back to sleep? You can't sleep all day," Haga whispered.

"Gorgeous? D-Did it work? Snap out of it Haga," Aoyama nervously sat up and crawled over to Haga.

His friend laughed softly, "Calm down, I was acting. I'm getting my ten."

With a sigh of relief, Aoyama smiled, "Alright, we can act still. I was just making sure the spell didn't work."

Haga rolled his eyes and stared down at Kino. He really did want his ten, and was somewhat thinking of just going all out to bother Aoyama. It would be fun, and interesting, so why not?

"Rules," he began, "do whatever you want. Be aggressive. Be open. Creep out Kino, just so he'll never make us do this again."

Aoyama frowned at the rules that were coming out of Haga's mouth, "Can't we just act like ourselves?"

"Not fun enough, so no," Haga scratched his head, thinking of more rules, "Play the character of a shy lover."

"It's a love spell, not a personality changing spell. I'll just act like you actually were my love interest," Aoyama explained.

"...Who's your love interest?"

"Well I'm not telling of course. Plus, I didn't say I had one, I said I'd act like you were one."

"Any way, fine. You do that, and I'll make my love more obvious."

Aoyama groaned and Haga gave him a questioning look, "I already know how that'll turn out."

Haga smiled and leaned close to him, "I think we should totally make out, Aoyama."

The bespectacled boy gasped and held his breath, "Oh gosh, what the heck," repeatedly rushing through his mind. Haga continued to lean closer to him, closer to his friend's lips, and as soon as they were almost touching, Kino sat up and stared at them with wide eyes.

"Whoa! S-So it worked! It worked!" he exclaimed.

Haga hurriedly moved away from Aoyama, acting as if nothing happened, "I don't think it worked."

Aoyama wore a puzzled countenance, "I-I'm not sure?" He wasn't quite sure what Haga was aiming at.

"Oh? But I just saw the two of you about to...kiss," he hadn't really thought of the outcome of the spells, and was more interested in just seeing if the spell worked. He hadn't thought they would do anything intimate, yet there they had been, about to do something intimate.

"Well...that stuff can't be real. Maybe I just," Haga stared longingly at Aoyama, "loved Aoyama this whole time."

Aoyama froze, thinking of what he was supposed to do or say to that. He reasoned with blushing and holding his face in his hands in attempt to hide his redness, "I-I wouldn't know. I um..." He sighed dreamily away from his friends. He was beginning to think that this could be fun. Not only were they getting their ten dollars off of this, but they were probably putting Kino in his place.

"Aoyama..." Haga crawled closer to Aoyama, "I love you."

"A-Ah! Don't tell me more than once, I can't handle so much of that. I'll explode," Aoyama backwards crawled away from Haga, running into the wall.

"If you can't handle that then you're going to have fun with all the other things I have to offer," Haga breathed out, licking his lips. It took everything from Aoyama not to laugh and turn his amused face into a false aroused face.

"Okay! You two," Kino pulled Haga away from Aoyama, "now you're just being stupid. Just say that it didn't work and save yourself the trouble."

"I'm saying it didn't work! We were like this before!" Haga tried to scramble back to Aoyama, who was attempting to look seductive against the wall.

Kino pushed his face into his palm, "Guys...whether the spell worked or not, you're not doing this in my room." Haga calmed down a bit, "Right...sorry. Let's go in the bathroom Aoyama."

"Nowhere in my house! Look, we're going out for a walk or something, in public, so you two won't do anything indecent!" Kino stated.

"Oh that would be nice. Maybe we can have some ice cream?" Aoyama asked.

"Alright, we're getting ice cream," Kino blinked. So the boys got ready for a new day and headed out the door. On the way to the ice cream parlor, Haga and Aoyama held hands behind Kino, snickering the whole time. Whenever Kino looked back at them, they'd stare at each other and smile. Some people walking around in the heat found the sight of them repulsive, some kind of just looked, and some smiled. By the time they got to the parlor, they were skipping.

"Let's share a cone," Haga suggested to Aoyama, "it's cheaper that way too." Aoyama agreed, and they split money for a cone. Kino just bought one for himself, wishing he could share his cone with someone. Ai maybe? The boys sat down at a table near the air conditioner, and began to eat their ice cream. Well, Haga and Aoyama were having trouble.

"Maybe you should just give me the whole cone," Aoyama smiled, and in a small voice that only Haga could hear, he added, "you said you were topping, so that means you're the man, which makes me the girl, which means you're supposed to be a gentleman and give up your crap for me."

"Baby you can top," Haga whispered, an evil grin on his face as he attempted to take the cone from his 'sudden boyfriend', "I'll be the girl right now."

They went on like this for a while, until Kino noticed, "Aren't you guys going to eat that?"

The boys glanced at him, "Yes Haga, let's just eat it together."

"Yes, together."

They began to lick the ice cream at the same time, and joined their tongues together whenever they reached the top of the cone. Of course, they weren't so fond of doing so, but watching Kino frown and apologize to onlookers made them continue. They would laugh about this without him later. After the cone was done, they wiped each other's faces with napkins.

"Can we make out now?" Haga asked jokingly.

"Why yes, Haga, we can," Aoyama nodded, "later."

"Oh yay, can't wait," Haga chuckled. Kino looked on disapprovingly, "I can't tell anymore. Are you two kidding or is the spell really real?" They just smiled at him teasingly. He wasn't buying it, and it was a bit embarrassing for him.

"I suppose you two want your ten dollars? What?" Kino murmured.

Haga glanced at Aoyama with a confused look on his face, "Ten dollars? We didn't pay for anything for you?"

"Hah hah, funny. The spell's supposed to make you fall in love, not act like an idiot who suddenly forgot everything," Kino stopped, "unless you two are just pulling my leg?"

"I was just so entranced in Aoyama that I forgot about it. If you think it worked then you should give us the ten dollars, friend of mine. But really, I think I've always felt this way about Aoyama. His perfect hair, his cute pink glasses," Haga was interrupted by Kino.

"You always said that his glasses were gay," he pointed out.

"He changed his mind," Aoyama frowned, "he thinks they're cool and stylish." He loved his glasses, so he was actually just defending his taste in eyewear.

Haga looked dubiously over Aoyama's pink specs, and silently chuckled. "You jerk! I thought you loved me!" Aoyama cried out, proceeding to fake cry. Kino raised a brow and apologized to the spectators again.

"Well the glasses aren't actually you, so it doesn't count. I love you, clothes and accessories are nothing!" Haga held onto Aoyama's hands, a serious expression adorning his face. For a second, Aoyama was a bit captivated by it, but he shrugged it off and stole his hands back, "They're nothing? I went everywhere for you! I even did my hair for you! I bought new boxers and you wouldn't know this but they're blue! And I..." Aoyama looked down at the tiles, blush creeping up on his face, "I wore them...yesterday." He looked shyly up at Haga's reddened face, who was seriously about to cry with laughter.

"That's pretty hot, Aoyama..." he was trying so hard not to laugh, but it was proving difficult with Aoyama also smiling like a maniac, about to laugh as well, "are you sure they weren't the sexy lingerie we saw...in the catalog...that you promised you would buy...and wear for me?"

That was it, they couldn't stop themselves from laughing uncontrollably. Kino was unimpressed, "I really don't think the spell worked. You guys are faking this aren't you?"

The boys chuckled and smiled at each other, "We love each other, that doesn't mean we can't act the same as we used to."

"Suddenly you two are a couple that acknowledges each other's love and embrace it mutually and openly..."

Haga nodded and turned to Aoyama, "Let's make this official. Aoyama baby, be my girl."

"I hate you," Aoyama frowned.

"He's deretsun," Haga concluded.

"You mean tsundere?" Kino questioned.

"No, he was sweet and cute before but now he's being mean."

Aoyama folded his arms, "You said that I'm nothing on the outside. I demand credit for my hard work."

"I'm sorry baby, forgive me and be mine," Haga pleaded.

"Don't 'baby' me," Aoyama frowned, "but I suppose we can be together."

"Sweet, dream come true-"

"Let's take things slow," Aoyama cautioned, waving a finger in his friend's face. Haga wore a disappointed face, then smiled, "Kay fine."

"I really hope the next day comes soon so you two can stop this," Kino mumbled. He was up to his limit with this foolishness.

"But this is so fun-I mean nice," the pink rimmed boy smiled playfully.

For the rest of the day, Kino led the boys around town like they usually did. They shopped around for clothes and other knickknacks in the stores they often went to. The only thing that was different was that Kino was slightly annoyed, Haga and Aoyama were holding hands, and every now and then, they exchanged kisses on the cheek. Kino tried his best to ignore them, but he couldn't help face-palming when he so much as saw the smug looks on their faces. The only ones they were fooling were themselves, really.

At the end of the day, Kino walked with Haga and Aoyama to their homes. The boys shared a dramatic departure as Kino rolled his eyes. "Aoyama! I love you! Don't leave me," Haga cried, reaching out to him as he pretended to be sucked into his home. They heard the faint sound of his sister telling him that he was an idiot. Kino stepped up to his porch and kept the door open, "I suppose you want your ten?"

"Oh...hell yeah," Haga murmured, having his house suddenly stop sucking him in.

"Was that all really worth it? You could have just given me the five," Kino scoffed, presenting ten dollars, "I'm only giving this to you because you two entertained me, no matter how I seemed."

"Heh, whatever. I got my ten," Haga took the money and began to close the door, "I bid you good night." He took a quick glance at Aoyama, "And good night my girl."

Aoyama giggled in a very girly manner, "Oh you." So Kino continued to walk Aoyama home, taking out a second ten.

"I suppose you want your ten also."

His friend smiled and declined the money. Upon being questioned on why he wouldn't want the money, Aoyama replied with a slight hint of excitement in his voice, "Today was really awesome, you know?" Kino decided that he didn't know.

The next day, almost afternoon, Kino woke due to the overwhelming heat pooling into his room from his window. He hurried into the shower and just as quickly came out brushing his teeth. As he slipped on his flip flops, he heard a knock at the door. He figured that it was Haga or Aoyama. He took his time getting to the door, even stopping to stuff some bread in the toaster and get a glass of milk ready for after the aftertaste of the toothpaste left. After another knock at the door, he groaned and shuffled to the door. Opening it, he found both Haga and Aoyama, holding hands. He quickly snapped out of his morning grogginess.

"Morning Kino!" Aoyama chimed, pulling Haga into the house.

Kino rubbed his temples, "What the heck guys? You can stop acting. Wouldn't the spell be broken by now?"

"Yeah," Haga smirk, "spell's broken."

Kino stopped to ponder this, then smacked his head against the wall, "Oh gosh, I got my friends together."

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_**A/N: Sorry for a fail ending.**_


End file.
